Funny, I should have been nervous going into court & wasn't, just focused. H, on the other hand, looked dazed & anxious, so I patted the seat next to me when he asked where he should sit.
Sitting there thru 6 other 'matters' before us, he kept looking at me & whispered, "Sheesh, we look pretty together, don't we?", "I hate this, I really hate this." Amazing cases of "War of the Roses", involving police reports & hurling of insults all around. Judge admonished a couple to "grow up."
Because I 'know' my H, I made sure to have my latest declaration/response handed to him by my neighbor. That didn't stop him from starting off with, "...and she just handed me the papers, which doesn't really bother me..." My job was to sit there w/out reacting or getting emotional. Difficult to do when you hear some major re-writing of history.
There were some slap downs from the judge, such as to his response as to why he didn't spend more time than 1 overnight & 2 dinners w/S6 in the last year ("Place was too small, now moved back into my lrg ocean view home").
Judge="The mediator wrote that it was because you spent most of your time with your girlfriend." H="That is not true." Judge="Oh, you didn't have a girlfriend?" H="Uh, well yes, I had a girlfriend." Judge="Okay."
Surprising she would say this, although it was also in the mediators report.
Questionable H moves;
-Crosses out the amt of days on some of the 7 trips (56 days) I documented he took in 2007', (I put w/GF when she accmp.), and put down one day less, etc.,?? That's kinda verifying my record of events.
-Attempts to 'tell' judge what the best ruling would be, & you know how they love that.
Anyway, temporary ruling is status quo, with the exception that instead of 1 Friday night sleepover, we go to every other weekend. He also has to p/u S6 from school 3x a week instead of here after work. Much harder for him, especially on the short school day.
So, after court we talk & clear the air a bit. He hugs me & tells me he "loves" me. He wishes he hadn't ever started this. We have some nice moments. I tell him I have to get going. He says he'll "talk" to me later & ....
Next phone call he asks me to forget about the temporary orders & go back to the way it was.
Nope, I haven't had a weekend off in 2 1/2 yrs & I'm also not going to go against court orders (to be used against me later, perhaps).
Back to court on Monday, where we have a status hearing & also the matter of H filing a Bifurcation motion, requesting the judge issue a Judgement of Dissolution immediately. We would then settle the property & visitation issues later.
I don't know why he filed for this, just that if he wants a D that badly he'll have it. Can't say that it doesn't bother me. I will "hold onto myself" though.
@S4H-"Somehow, and I don't know how they do it, but they are able to convince themselves that the history they rewrite is somehow actually true."
Yes, S4H, I think of this as the O.J. mindset & believe we're all capable of it to a degree, some more than others for sure.
@FG-"It is all about perspective."
Of course this also holds true, & all going on at once.
