As long as my StBX continued to deny my reality that it
it hurt more to stay, than to go
and argued with it, as some of you have so eloquently done... I stayed gone.
When he could see it through my eyes & understand it ... that is when he was given a chance to fix it.
but as you both have pointed out... not all WAW are the same & you seem to have a good handle on what they are thinking.
Good luck & peace Bridge
Bridge - I hear you and am not saying that LBS isn't being oblivious to reality through your eyes, sometimes they are. I AM saying that LBS are then usually trying to buckle down and do what they can to rectify the situation for all involved, rather than running away but many times are not even given an HONEST chance to make things better. The WAS simply ignores or rewrites these efforts as still being controlling/suffocating and is then validated by their divorced friends. I AM sorry to see you've been physically abused by your H, and think that IS one of the very few reasons to divorce if the behavior doesn't change. However, I believe many/most of our WAS are exiting out of self-absorbtion due to MLC, chronic insecurity and/or EA/PA, rather than escaping from true abuse. I only wish we LBS's were given an honest chance to change/work on our relationships PRIOR to the WAS completely shutting the door to reconciliation.
Me 47 W 44 D16, D13 T 23yrs M 20yrs WAW/MLC + Male EA "BFF from H.S." = Misery
