A little bit of the reality of her leaving is starting to set in for my WAW. She moves out on Monday, and our discussions this past week about custody and schedule are starting to put the first cracks in the seperation fantasy the alien inside her has created. She's come to the realization that for our son's sake, a 50/50 time split with him is not in his best interests. It's going to wind up being more like 65/35, and not in her favor. I'm not trying to keep her from him, just the opposite, but for stability in his living routine, he can't be a ping pong ball. She agrees, but I can tell it's not what she had in mind. Her idea of leaving, but continuing with all the bedtime routines at our house isn't going to happen either. She was expecting to be able to put him into beg, read him a story, snuggle for a few minutes, and then go sleep somewhere else at night. Sorry, but that's part of what you lose when you chose to move out. I have no intention of being a jerk, just the opposite if my marriage is to be saved, but I also need to set down new boundries once she leaves. I did agree to give her an extra afternoon with him during the week, but insisted that she bring him him earlier than she had wanted so he has time to transition. All of these are adding up to cracks in her fantasy.

I've been sad, but not angry with her. I've given up trying to persuade her, and when she started to cry last night I was supportive, but didn't take the bait of playing on her emotions. I let her cry, and then continued with the discussion at hand of her packing up. I told her I'd help her move if necessary, and she was surprised since I said I wouldnt support her decision. I said I understood why she wanted to leave, but that I still didn't support it, and regardless would help her pack if she needed my help. This surprised her.

My parents were nothing but kind and friendly with her when they visited. She said she thought they would hate her. I told her none of us hated her, that we loved her, but everyone was upset that she was deciding to leave. She cried even harder!

I hate to see her in pain, but I'm all for any little bit of reality that helps her come out of the fog!