How can WAS put themselves before their children?

[WalkingMan]

Although WAS's share many common traits (especially with regard to the WAS script), each sitch is a bit different. Sometimes the LBS becomes the WAS, like in my case. I became the WAS when I could no longer stand the abuse, neglect, lies, affair, etc. when my XW was in the rage of being a WAW.

I think a lot of the WAS rationale is self preservation. Not being able to reconcile emotions and actions with what others (or self) see as immoral or irrational. Being in an unhappy sitch for years and not communicating this causes the 'bubble to burst.' YOur marriage should always be number one and it's hard with all of life's distractions (work, children, etc.).

alex, you so right about getting the LBS and WAS together to work things out, but how often does this happen? BOth must want it and it's a long road to get to that point. There must be a commitment and getting that from someone who's in an inwardly focussed mode is very difficult.