I'm surprised at how I can read so much stuff that my (and apparently your) IC doesn't seem to be aware of. (I really question the 3 IC's that I have gone to).
I actually like my IC. And I think he realizes what is going on, I think he asks these questions because they are things that I should be thinking about and not simply ignoring. I think he is trying to save me from being a doormat and, much like Robx, is making me realize that my needs are important too. He wants to make sure that I do not sacrifice these needs in order to save the relationship.
He also advises me to be very careful about having this relationship in limbo. Each of us going over to each others place to spend the night, but not being really committed to each other. He says it can be difficult on the children. If they are exposed to it for a long period of time it becomes engrained in them that it is a "normal" relationship and may have a difficult time with their own relationships later in life. However, he said this in the context of there being an OM in the picture. So his views may be slightly different now.
This is what I was struggling with last night. She says that she is committed to getting us back together. My gut is telling me that things really are changing. She is no longer apprehensive about intimacy. In fact, she is now seeking it and really enjoying it again. This is something that became absent for a period of time. I do believe OM has been pushed aside. So I took this into account and figured it that we are moving in the right direction. I called her and asked if the invitation was still open. She said she was hoping I would change my mind. I headed over to her place and we had an enjoyable evening. Thanks 25 and EB, your posts made me reconsider my decission.
Back to my IC, he was the one that recognized W should be on mood stabilizers (as our MC) before her IC or psyche did. And although he had problems gaining my W's trust, I do find him to be a pretty good counselor. My W (one who is trained in counseling) also said that he is good, but she never really could feel comfortable with him. I think a big part of that was because he told my W that he found relationships like hers with OM tended to be "plastic", "not real", and simply "brain chemistry" when she was not ready to hear it. Anyway, I see him today. I am interested to hear his perspective on where he thinks we are now.
