Grrrrrrr. Woke up po'd at him now. I've found myself in the angry phase before for brief periods. I know from experience it may pass. But I'm so upset right now that he made me believe it was safe, that I could trust him. That he expected me to be committed to him. Yet he wouldn't give me the same. I thought we had something special, something more authentic than I'd ever experienced, and he said the same. It had so much potential and he threw it away over something stupid. He was looking at it in one dimension and ignoring all the layers. He's an ass. He's an emotional retard. He's a coward. I saw him again this morning. I saw him look into the park for me - I guess my secret viewing spot is busted. Now he knows I'm with the dogs in here at this time so I can't look at him sitting in his car 20 ft away any more. I was seething when I saw him. I pretended to be reading the newspaper & didn't let him know I saw him. I hate his ugly car too. I am going so far as today to even say he was beneath me and how dare he treat me badly when I was the best thing that ever entered his life! Good luck to him finding any woman who wants this. Sure he's handsome & smart enough to capture initial attention. But who is going to put up with him once he reveals his dominant intolerant side.... not to mention his feral son. He is attracted to a strong independent woman, but ultimately wants the power in the relationship. No wonder he was in his 40's and had never had a long term r. The 4 yrs we were together makes this more than twice as long as his only other serious r. Loser. Doesn't comprehend compromise & understanding a partner. I've been bouncing around emotionally enough to know this could pass. But it feels good to be disgusted with him for a change. I'm upset at myself too that I wasted 4 yrs w him and now another 7 months recovering / plotting. I'm so disappointed that he still hasn't brought me the receipts that I asked for wks ago. How hard can that be? How can I be so unimportant to him? Yet he was mad when I took 2 whole days to save every single file that he left behind on my computers! Grrrrrr.....
