Wow. Sorry to hear about your S, but he couldn't have any better source on what to do than you, his father.
You already know how much he will need you. And you know what to do.
Who knows what will happen with his M? Who knows what will happen with any of our M's? I don't think the definition of success depends upon whether or not one's M is saved or not. That is certainly one of the goals, if not one of the most important.
But, I honestly think the main goal, upon which all of the other goals must rest, is saving yourself by improving, geeting in touch with yourself, and developing and maintaining a positive and healthy POV. If you can achieve that, then you have suceeded b/c if you become that person (As Sandi says, the person only a fool would leave) and your spouse still chooses to leave, then that's their loss and, in the end, were their problems really about you in the first place?
