I appreciate all of the advice. Right now, I am focusing on being the best father for my son. I am reflecting on what I could have done better in our relationship.
I am just now starting to understand that she was going to have to face these issues. I didn't think it would happen now.
My soon to be ex-husband on the other hand didn't change at all. He loves me and would take me back right now as it stands. But he never grew beyond his ability to reach for another drink so that isn't happening and I have moved on. Funny thing, it was the "moving on" that got him to admit that he does still love me. Just not enough to sober up.
MLCers have what I referred to as "pockets of sanity". Fleeting moments when they know something serious is going on with them and that they are behaving very badly and making very bad decisions that they might not be able to undo. Those moments don't come in the beginning of a MLC though. They begin well into the ride, when the consequences start raining down. Still, denial remains the strongest player in the MLC. And keeping the mirror on everyone and everything but themselves allows the MLCer to blame everyone and/or everything BUT themselves.
It's the emotional stuff that they can't even explain to themselves that causes the withdrawal. The other person enters as a distraction, a band-aid if you will. Something, anything, to make them "feel" better. Most of the time, those people end up to be collateral damage. Innocent bystanders (although of questionable morals many times) that get swept up in the storm. They are not the root of the problem. They are a symptom.
"Let anyone who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" 1 Cor. 10:12
