I don't get to see her any other time than my court ordered visitation times with her. The X does not go out of her way to facilitate that at all.
Then stick to the court ordered visitation or work out a compromise agreeable to both of you. I would make sure whatever change to the court ordered visitation gives you the same amoutn of visitation and during times you are ok with.
I agree with you that it's not fair for your ex to alter the court ordered visitation and not make amends by a compromise for "make-up" visitation.
well. i would be most happy to compromise, but don't think she is. So how do you approach that one with the X? Esp since she doesn't want to talk and then I am trying to give her space and not disagree...
Missing my D and missing the X. Wish it was as easy as picking up the phone and trying to make amends. It is definately not that easy. Trying to hold off on contacting and see if she contacts me. I keep seeing that on here, but but have small faith that she is even remotely interested in getting along or compromising in any way. I keep crossing my fingers.
Until then I am consumed with plenty to do. I have no problems with GAL. That is probably part of our problems in our R.
Missing my D and missing the X. Wish it was as easy as picking up the phone and trying to make amends. It is definately not that easy. Trying to hold off on contacting and see if she contacts me. I keep seeing that on here, but but have small faith that she is even remotely interested in getting along or compromising in any way. I keep crossing my fingers.
Until then I am consumed with plenty to do. I have no problems with GAL. That is probably part of our problems in our R.
Kind of sad...
2B,
Your life is what you make it. Get busy. What do you need to do to feel better about yourself?
You have to take the focus off of her, b/c you have no control over that. None. And the more you worry. hand wring, and concern yourself with the "what if's", the more desperate you will seem to her. It's the "stink of desperation." And she WILL smell it.
Thanks for your reply. Looks like it is just you and me on here lately..
I really feel pretty good about myself (I think). Could always use some confidence boosting though. I am reading lots, going to church, being all I can be to my daughters. I try to pray for courage, strength and patience. I def could grow in these areas. I am involved in so much and then I have my daughters to spend time with. I am busy to say the least.
I know I am a great guy and anyone should be proud to be part of my life. The X is just hurt, angry and vindictive. I try not to focus on that. It just tends to roll back that way for some reason.. Natural instinct I guess.
I go out, I meet people, I take classes, I work, I socialize, I go to church, I spend time with the family. What more can I do?
I just am opening up here on the boards, but in her presence I now see that I must display a strong character that is not phased by her antics. That is the path I have been walking. It is just a lonely path at times..
Spoke with a friend today that has recently divorced. They were married for like 20 years and he wanted to get back together and his X is saying there is no way possible. I want to tell him that they sometimes say that and still it could happen. He says he did recieve some closure from that and he could now move on.
I pray for him and his situation b/c I know it is tough on him. How can people not want to work through things esp when it is so devestaing to thier family?
Been three days or so since I saw the X. Hanging in there with the detachment. Really would like to check on my daughter, but I think it just pesters her and she sees it as a form of pursuing her. So I try not to contact too much.. The fine line..
Been three days or so since I saw the X. Hanging in there with the detachment. Really would like to check on my daughter, but I think it just pesters her and she sees it as a form of pursuing her. So I try not to contact too much.. The fine line..
That is a fine line. I guess I've settled on the side of I want to be an everyday presence in their lives so I'm going to call every night. A poster in these forums gave me a tip, send a text saying you plan to call to talk to daughter in five minutes. That way she doesn't just think your really calling to talk to her.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
I just am opening up here on the boards, but in her presence I now see that I must display a strong character that is not phased by her antics. That is the path I have been walking. It is just a lonely path at times..
Going the distance though..
I'm right there with you!! I do have confidence that this approach can work and each week I look back and recognize how far I've come from the week before.
Hang in there man!!
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
Thanks CTH & RSF!!! Great to get some additional feedback. GIMA and I have been back and forth and he has been fantastic about providing ongoing encouragement! We need all we can get.
I do miss my little girl. She is only 2. So it is very difficult to have much of a conversation with her directly and really know what is going on with her. I pretty much have to talk to the X to find out what is going on with my D. I really want to have a presence in my Ds world.
CTH, What do you do when my D is that young?
RSF, I am trying to have confidence that this approach works. I really trying hard to focus on myself and do good things for me, within me. So how did you become to have confidence in this process? Are you having good experience with it?
