So let him be devastated and confused. You've already done your time with devastated and confused. You don't have to take any of his on. Yet (and maybe I'm completely wrong here) it still sounds like you feel somehow compelled to. Detach, detach.
Take care of yourself, sweetie. Second only to your kids, that's your biggest responbility right now.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
