Their attitude is they have sacrificed themselves for so long, now it is THEIR turn to do something for themselves, regardless of the consequences. PLUS they get ALL kinds of support from their bitter divorced friends who were SO mistreated by their ex-husbands. Now they all get together and make sure she doesn't "backslide" into staying with the man who has committed his heart and his entire life to her. Not that he's perfect, by no means, but they simply can't see that that he is willing to continue working on their relationship to make things better in the future. For them, it is too little , too late. They don't see it is NEVER too late if you don't WANT it to be. Some people don't WANT help, because they prefer to be a "victim" of mistreatment to alleviate their guilt of doing something they KNOW in their hearts is pretty F'd up. It basically comes down to maturity. Some people simply refuse to grow up and accept that marriage takes work on the part of BOTH people. They would rather just get what THEY want/need. Kind of like a teenager whose life is ALL about them and OH SO DRAMATIC! SO...they blame their spouse for their own insecurity, and trump up charges of mistreatment, rather than accept their own shortcomings.
OMG, it feels like you're writing about my W. Years of sacrifice, getting horrible advice from bitter friends, always being the "victim"...all of it. It's great to know there are so many people going through the same thing I am. Now if I can only figure out how to make things better.
Me-39 W-31 S-4 Bomb- 9/5/09 Discovered EA- 9/15/09 Found "proof" that EA is most likely a PA- 10/8/09 W moved out 10/31/09
