UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

[Shane5665]

Nell I'm very sorry to hear your still in that emotional valley.

I find myself sitting here thinking of what it is I can say or do for you that hasn't been said or done already. I have my kids to keep me busy. I can only imagine that which you face everyday when you return home. There must be something single adults do out there ... something to find a friend. What about those you work with? I've found a few friends at school that will listen and give input. No our friendship isn't one to write a book about. However, they are listening and being supportive of me. To be honest that is all I needed to start feeling better about my stitch. Positive reinforcements. Keep looking and don't give up.

Also what are your thoughts concerning you leaving that home to a more populated area? Perhaps I didn't read back far enough and you've already stated such. Nell I hope you can find some peace within yourself. I found that it wasn't the WAW that controlled my emotions. IT WAS ME!! I was the one making me depressed about life in general. It was I who decided I wasn't going to let the chitty thing she has done affect me any longer. Ya see it really isn't about them. I know you know that NELL. You just have to start living it girl.

It took a lot of work on my part to get to where I'm at. Do I think of her? Yes often. Do I let it ruin my day? NO LONGER. Ya see Nell thats it ... PMA. Over and Over and Over until finally you don't have to think about doing it. You just live it because it becomes part of you.

Also I realized I was dying inside thinking about her and what she has done. I sat in bed wondering if she was doing the same thing. They aren't sitting around thinking of us. They are getting on with whatever it is they think they need to find. When I realized that it was a slap in the face. What the hell was I doing in this emotional cesspool?

Nell we can all give the best advice in the world to ya. In the end it is you that must act them out. Lord knows I didn't listen to those who have been there for me. Ask Sandi2, she warned me over and over. I didn't listen and the WAW was allowed to stick her dagger in me once again. I had to learn the hard way and it was then I realized life is too short to wait around for her. I love her, yes, even though she has hurt me horribly. This is why I will move on. Moving on doesn't mean I will forget about her or that I will never have her in my life. It simply means I will no longer sit in the valley waiting. Live for today Nell, live for yourself. I think you know all of this. I just feel it is worth saying again. PMA

With Love

Shane