It's MY life now!!!........

[Silent Chrleader]

Hi, BM.

You're probably right about limiting contact with STBXH. I actually haven't been in contact much in the past week, but then when we do communicate, he is much more chatty than usual. It's nice in a way, but also makes it hurt more in another way. I haven't done any R talk at all, but the urge is there. So, I should probably just cut any conversations off sooner.

But, if I am honest with myself, I have to admit that there's still a piece inside me that thinks that if there is even a remote seed of a chance of renewing our R, it is in these little baby steps he is taking and I don't want to shut that down. But, even more importantly, even if he is only more comfortable talking to me because he finally feels I have let him go and am going to be OK, I still care so deeply for him, and I don't want to just cut him off. (I know, why should I care when he never did....).

It's just hard right now.

I'm actually not so worried about finding love again right now..... I know I really need to do more meditation and really concentrate on being more healthy...... and working at spending some quality time with S18.

((((((hugs)))))))