How can WAS put themselves before their children?

[Heartbroken20]

well isn't the WAS the one who takes on the victim role first? I mean, they are the ones who ask "why am I going through all this pain" and in some cases, keep it in until they are okay with the decision to walk without talking to their S.

Or at least that's how my W was and is. After her "enlightenment" about how she kept quiet for years when she was unhappy and is now "happy" that she's made a decision to leave, she still doesn't open up. Quite honestly, I have no idea what her reason is for leaving because it seems to change and she can't even keep track.

I've asked her many times before the bomb, "are you alright", "is something bothering you", etc. Every opportunity to talk about issues she had about our M, but she never did. Now she continues to play the victim and blame her unhappiness on me.

Her reason for leaving the family behind was that the kids would be happier when they don't see her being unhappy. WTF? Why is she even unhappy? Oh well. Could just be just my sitch.

It isn't just you, mine is the same. She never wanted to talk about anything when asked. Now she thinks the only way to be happy is to leave. She is also going through MLC and believes the kids will be MUCH better if we split. The kids know she is the one driving the breakup. She has admitted this but still thinks they support her because "why stay with someone if you are unhappy?" Most WAW going through MLC are completely incapable of thinking rationally or even considering others. Their attitude is they have sacrificed themselves for so long, now it is THEIR turn to do something for themselves, regardless of the consequences. PLUS they get ALL kinds of support from their bitter divorced friends who were SO mistreated by their ex-husbands. Now they all get together and make sure she doesn't "backslide" into staying with the man who has committed his heart and his entire life to her. Not that he's perfect, by no means, but they simply can't see that that he is willing to continue working on their relationship to make things better in the future. For them, it is too little , too late. They don't see it is NEVER too late if you don't WANT it to be. Some people don't WANT help, because they prefer to be a "victim" of mistreatment to alleviate their guilt of doing something they KNOW in their hearts is pretty F'd up. It basically comes down to maturity. Some people simply refuse to grow up and accept that marriage takes work on the part of BOTH people. They would rather just get what THEY want/need. Kind of like a teenager whose life is ALL about them and OH SO DRAMATIC! SO...they blame their spouse for their own insecurity, and trump up charges of mistreatment, rather than accept their own shortcomings.