How do I keep from screwing up??????

[Heartbroken20]

Hey Stressed - you're right we all do have very similar problems. As you read through the posts, you'll see your situation repeated over and over (or something pretty close).

You'll also see some that are much worse that'll need support from you and others. Doesn't lessen your pain but does often add perspective. For instance, it's been over nine months since my wife and I have had sex because the last time (on our 20th anniversary) she became physically ill afterwards as she was no longer attracted to me and has since told me she finds me sexually repulsive. Now THAT's an ego booster!

You'll see a lot of good advice as well...the hard part is remembering it in the heat of battle. I continually try to use the advice that makes sense to me but often miss the mark when hit over the head with a cruel comment or frozen with an icy shoulder. I do try to give her as much space as I can and only "engage" her on IMPORTANT things. Doesn't always work though.

Anyway, best of luck to you with your DB'ing. I hope you have at least two years to get things back in order and hopefully much better than before all this started! I also hope the damage she is causing (in my wife's case as well) is not irreparable. Unfortunately, it seems they can only see as far as a few days/weeks ahead due to their selfishness. They aren't looking at possibilities a few years down the road, other than how their life would be so much easier without you in it!