Kevin, I believe in marriage whole-heartedly and am devoted to my vows, wife, and family. I believe divorce is a sin - except in cases of adultery, abuse, abandonment.
I went through a searing soul-searching, read, studied, attended counseling, sought advice, poured myself into my kids, etc. I thought my life had ended, God didn't care, and I was a complete failure.
I watched W sink lower and lower, listened to her start losing her biggest cheerleader (D9), have seen her live this shallow life. She is with an OM that lived with his mom and dad, then got kicked out so started bringing his three kids to her 700 sq ft apartment. 7 people in a 700 sq ft apartment!
I watched my children grow to love me like I never thought it was possible, and I to them.
Seriously, I am ready to be divorced. My W is a train-wreck.
She has been counseled by wise people that care for her, has a husband that loves her dearly and gave pretty much everything for her. She ditched her family because they wouldn't support her affair, and even her very best friend in the world all of a sudden is very "busy". And she walks away from it all for selfishness.
So, you, just like I had to, need to realize you can't do anything for her. The "civil conversations" are probably just to make her feel like she's being nice. When she calls and realizes her wrongs, and apologizes for them, and gets before God, and makes things right - THEN maybe you can post about having a hopeful heart.
I am filing for divorce on Monday. My conscience is clear before W, and before God. She has committed adultery, so I'm free to leave the marriage, but not because I haven't tried my heart out.
I have discovered amazing friends, reconnected with old friends, reconnected with my extended family, grown amazingly close to God, and am content, satisfied and happy.
Kevin - you are inching along. I do see some improvement, but I'm a super patient guy. You've got to cut loose of this.
Why do you think even Jesus himself gave an opportunity for divorce in the case of adultery?
