Feeling needy again today. So weird. I was straight up resentful a few days ago...
I need to do something out of the house tonight, but I have left W with S a lot recently. Maybe I should think of something to do with S tonight. Get us both out of the house.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
Me: It's me again, self. WTF? She wants to be independent, let her be independent. Draw a line. Don't let yourself be treated disrespectfully. Let her see what "independence" is really like. Have fun moving the couch upstairs with your feaking GF. I will not condone this. She will not get my blessing.
Definitely go with Me#2. Do not help her. You have been very understanding and empathetic - and where has it gotten you? Her moving out? Let her feel her "independence"/ lonliness.
I appreciate your input. Don't forget though that it was gotten me from a W that said she should have never married me and will go insane if she stay's with me to a W that hugs and kisses me and says she can't imagine how hard this has been for me.
There has been some progress.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
I appreciate your input. Don't forget though that it was gotten me from a W that said she should have never married me and will go insane if she stay's with me to a W that hugs and kisses me and says she can't imagine how hard this has been for me.
There has been some progress.
EB. Yet she continues to move forward on seperating. It is fine to be polite and show compassion. However, do not let her trample over you. She is moving out and breaking up the family. I don't think you should help her do it. Read some of the stuff Robx wrote me. You can not stand to keep a marriage together while helping her to break it up. You may make her angry, but you will also gain respect from her if you stand up to her on some of these things. You will also feel better about yourself. Go out and GAL; move on and enjoy your life without her for a while. My W did not start moving back toward me until she felt I had dropped the rope (I had by no way dropped the rope yet, but she perceived it that way).
She called me on the way home from work to discuss dinner. We talked for a bit. All ubpeat.
She was warm when I got home. I asked about her day and she said she did nothing and was just lazy. I then went upstairs to change and started watching TV in the bedroom. After a while she came to seek me out. Good right?
As she sat there I asked if she had something to talk to me about since she seemed like something was on her mind.
She told me she went to talk to a new "finance guy" today. Aparently she's trying to figure out how to get that same place. I gave a look of disproval and we sat in silence for a while. I said I wish you could find what you're looking for without spending a hundred thousand dollars. She just said "me too."
Then she laid on the bed with me for like 15 mins until I got up. I didn't touch her or say a word.
What the hell?
How do I respond to this?
How does she act loving to me this moorning with this planned?
I want to tell her to just go. This is what she does while I am off providing for our family during the day? WTF?
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
I went inside after writing the previous post. W asked if I was OK. I said "no. It sucks that as I was off roviding for my family today my W was further planning her escape. I am trying to be a good understanding husand, but I won't lie. It sucks."
Now I am wondering if she was ggoing to ask for money or me to help her get this place somehow and lost her nerve. I sure hope this past week hadn't been her way of uttering me up to ask for something like that.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
I think she was feeling you out. I think you may be to the point where you just have to let her go......that may be the only way to get her back. Same as in my sitch.
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4
Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
Good for you. Stand your ground, Your feelings should be heard too. and no, don't help her escape. She could take a six month lease on an apartment instead of rushing into buying something.
I wish she would just rent. She has a bunch of reasons why buying is better though and my trying to talk her out of it makes her more sure she wants to do it.
It's awkward in our house again.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
