Thanks puppy. I did say I'd just find out from my lawyer. Problem is, he's firing his, and wants to do it on his own, so he thinks he can get information from me. I'll just always refer him to my lawyer when he asks. I did get the answer from my lawyer, and almost forwarded it to him, but didn't. Let him find out on his own
Me: 36 H: 33 S1: 4 S2: 2 Together: 13 years Married: 7 years Bomb: May 09 Found out about affair: June 09 Moved out: June 09 He Filed: July 09 Moved in with OW: July 09
I always say there's a reason why they put that little "v" in between the two parties' names. It's an adversarial set-up, and that's by design. It doesn't mean that you can't be CIVIL to one another, but it's NOT in your best interest to unilaterally disarm when going into battle.
If he chooses to, that's his choice.
Your response should just continue to be "I'd be more comfortable if you'd discuss that with my attorney," or "I'd appreciate it if you'd run that by my attorney, because I'm really relying on him/her to handle this for me -- thanks."
You do need to bring up the marital misconduct. Subpeona the phone records. And he needs to keep them until 8. He is also responsible for getting them into bed. It's only polite and the right thing to do. If he wants to keep them at "his place" until that time, so be it....he's still responsible for getting them cleaned and ready for bed. It should NOT be your responsibility on those days because you aren't raising them alone and you need some you time too.
I think, Calliope, that this is going to be a very big wakeup call for Mr H. I mean, it seems like he thinks he can do anything he wants to and then everyone (wife, mistress, children) is to respond accordingly. So he fires his lawyer. Okay, he thinks, now you don't need one either. This is going to be a very important lesson to him that you are your own person and he is not calling the shots for all the people in his life. Even if this works out for you in the long term, he has got to learn that.
He can get a lawyer, fire a lawyer, have an affair, break off the affair...whatever, that's his life. And that's the only one he gets to be in control of. I think it's a good lesson for you to learn too!! Because let's say the R with OW does blow up...if it does he's likely to say ok, I want to come home and play house again, and then of course, you're part of the script is to say okay. So use this time to continue growing like you are and becoming emotionally independent, because that will make you strong for any eventuality!
