As hard as it may be, I try to stay away from helping in anyway with them moving out or building the new life. She is not asking you to help because she knows it is not fair, plus she probably wants to prove she can do it herself. So let her do it.
Mine did ask if I wanted to go to her place and help arrange things. I believe my response was to politely say "I would rather not." She accepted that with something like "I understand."
Recently she asked what I didn't like about her place after I said she could stay at our home, but I wouldn't stay over there. I said something similiar to "This is our home. This is where we belong." And she nodded. I was never mean about it, I just stated what was going through my mind.
My boundary is "If we are going to be a family. I want it to be between 2 parents committed to each other and living under 1 roof." I don't want to go to something that is halfway in between. I find that position pretty easy to defend. Now I do go over to her place and hang out every once in a while now, but it wasn't until she made concessions that she wanted to work on the marriage again.
