I had a conversation with a friend of mine along the lines of "I could go completely dark and W would never pursue me." Then wouldn't you know it...she called me when I was on my way home. Ironic.
I think this is your key, EB. When you feel W wouldn't pursue you if you went dark - you might be wrong. REmind yourself that the DB techniques are counter-intuitive. I would back way off (easier said than done - I totally relate to what you fear, I do that too) and don't let your fear stop you. Give her a month of way more distance and silence than you usually give her. I don't think for you the issue is "giving her a taste of what she is missing" any more. You've done that, she's still moving out. I think it's time to try something more radical and see if she notices. I think being way less available is the road you should take right now and see if it works. Even if you are afraid she won't pursue you. Don't knock it until you try it.
Not to mention, she sounds like the more she walks toward moving out, the more she is also physical with you. That means she actually may be moving toward you as a reaction to separation. If you aren't so available she may get thrown off and actually pursue. Try it! We're here to support you and get you through it!
Disclaimer - this is also hard for me - so we can support each other!
