It's a tough day. I get to go home, but I just can't get happy. I hate that. I try to focus on all the good. I focus on the fact that I am not divorced yet; but this last resort technique is killing me. I want so much to talk to her and tell her how I feel. I worry that saying nothing and just being happy will make her think I have moved on and am okay with this. Same thing with filing jointly. I agreed to because I felt it was the best possible outcome. As a result we have not yet filed, but we have an appt with a mediator on Monday to start the division of our assets and debt.
I'm just sick and want so badly to be in a good mood when I get the kids again.
I guess I need some confirmation that I am doing the right thing in remaining friendly with her and not pushing her to change her mind and stay.
