If you just want to date, in a non-exclusive relationship, then hey -- knock yourself out, and go with whatever makes you feel good, so long as you've both agreed to that.
I just think that when you marry, you make a commitment -- legally, spiritually and morally -- and to just walk away from a marriage, and/or choose to have an affair "because it felt good" is wrong. You made a DECISION to marry that person, and to have a monogamous relationship with them.
The point I was trying to make to you above is that -- to me anyway -- you put WAY too much time and energy into trying to analyze all of this, and if this is the way you come across to your wife, I can see where it might be unattractive. Conversely, when I read your exchanges of her positive interactions with you, they seem to be when you're using wit, humor, "mojo" and keeping things much more basic and primal, and I think she likes that.
Just my observation -- it doesn't make either one right or wrong.
