Just a quick update that I wanted to post. I am overseas for work and trying to recoup from 14 hrs of time change! I had a big birthday cookout at the house for myself last Friday and also invited W since I had invited a lot of "our" friends (they all know about the sitch btw). About 30 people came (including her dad) and we all had a blast! W didn't come however. But the evening before I left, W wanted to take me out to dinner for my birthday and while on our way, she told me the following:

- she wants to talk about "our situation" >> I thought "here we go, this is it!"... but no:

- cleaning out the garage at her apt, she found some of her old emails she sent me almost 2 yrs ago when I got the ILYBNILWY, the 'bomb'. She said she saw so much anger in her emails. >> she didn't specifically say that she doesn't have that anger anymore, or that she now thinks it was disproportionate, but that's how it came across to me.

- she wants an open dialogue with me so we can really talk about things

- she actually did have D papers drawn up early in Aug when she told me she had an apptmnt with a lawyer. She said she's had them in her car since then (6+ weeks). But she says (her words here) that she "hasn't had the heart to ask me to sign them" and "that has to mean something, right?"

- she's afraid that it's too late for this and that I need to tell her if I have found someone else, because if I did then we just need to sign the papers and move on with our lives >> I told her that I do not have someone else right now and that, so far, I really haven't been looking either. But I did make a lot of new friends, although most of them are couples. So: it's not too late, and I am open to discuss things.

- she missed the party because she overcommitted herself as usual (her words, but I have told her this lots of time before the "bomb")

- she said she wants to attend my sister's wedding in Feb (that would be with me. not other way around that)

We then had a nice dinner with the kids, just talking about other stuff. She will stay at the house while I am gone, taking care of the boys, the dogs and the rest of the house. And we agreed to have open discussions during the time I am gone by email and phone.

Although we have not had any R disussions so far, we did have a couple of nice convo's about other regular stuff like the boys and school. I am trying not to get too excited right now, but I do feel optimistic about making progress. I think I will have a better idea when I return from my trip.