You have no way of knowing this...mind reading...we're all guilty of it, but it serves no purpose. How are you punishing her...by giving her what she wants???
Not in terms of agreeing to disillusion, I'm talking about going dark, shutting down unnecessary communications. I'm fairly sure she thinks I'm doing that in response to her request so she's doubling it up on her end. ie she thinks I agreed and am being a baby about it by limiting communication. Not a big deal but that's probably her assumption.
Maybe you're right...so what? She will think what she'll think. But are YOU doing better since you've backed off and limited communication? Sounds like you are. Isn't that the point?
I haven't spoken a word to my W in a month. I find myself at times, like you, mind reading, trying to figure out if she's wondering why that is? Is it affecting her? Does she miss me at all? Doesn't matter because I'm doing better by not talking to her. I have no control what she thinks about it or whether it affects her at all.
yeah, I get what you're saying and mostly agree with you. I'm doing good and I'll be fine. No two ways about that. There are and will be ups and downs. Still, I don't view DBing as purely passive, one-sided activity. In other words, we don't just go off and take care of ourselves and then wake up with a new life that either does or doesn't include our Ws. There are steps along the way. I think we'd all agree that I have been focusing on minutia when I should be pulling out and working more from a 10,000 foot view point. As I read the many many sitchs on the forum, being observant and appropriately responsive at the right times seems to be a key factor in success...oh, and, time ;-)
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
