Hi Lola, sorry the anniversary is bringing up memories and negative thoughts. I think it's normal. I am sure you are fine. But your stbx's problem may be a piece of what happened with him. It was probably him who felt inadequate & a conquest helped him feel ok again. I think it possible that he dumped some blame on you for it, but it's his problem. And it will follow him. I like your pro-active filing idea. If he can't get it done, do it. It is time for freedom. The closure may bring many blessings to you. One door closes, another is opened. Your train of thought is quite normal. Or at least I have gone there too. Still looking for the answer to WHY? Do something enjoyable on the dreaded anniversary. My xh had a low libido. I was very frustrated with our sex life, although everything else was good so I was willing to sacrifice that aspect. I certainly never expected he would cheat when he didn't seem to need sex often anyway. But I think that his feeling inadequate in this way was in fact what caused him to cheat. Not that they're all the same, but I think it played a part in the demise of our r, and I think it's possible that it did in yours also. xo
