UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

[Eskimo Nell]

Thanks Buttercup. I appreciate your kind words and empathy.

I have tried nc before and it took 3 weeks to flush H out. It's almost two weeks now, save for my emergency phone call to him at the weekend. I am trying again though, knowing that, failing all else, I shall see him at our home builders tribunal mid-October when we go for our compensation hearing.

Yes, it's lonely. With no friends and family here, it's the pits being totally on my own when I beat myself up knowing that others are all with someone - even if it's not the person that they want with all their heart. I envy the lights in my neighbours windows, knowing that their family units are all intact and cosy. Meanwhile, I'm like an old spinster and take my 2 cats off to bed with me each night, no later than 8pm. How sad is that?

I am afraid that I don't have any spiritual faith to keep me warm and to park my lonely boat against. I do have some personal beliefs but not to the extent that some here will find comfort in. I like to say that I 'hedge my bets' but talk to 'God' and 'pray' for all the sorrowful souls that are on this board - including myself.

I wish that you could send me some of your new detachment too!! Good luck with yours - seems like you are getting through this in your own time and working with your own rules. I shall keep checking in on you ... !