EJohn, it concerns me when I hear statements from LBS like you made in your last post. I believe you need to move on with your life and drop the rope you have tied to your W......but you sound so vulnerable that it scares me! You said, "no expectations of a serious R", but that is not what I'm really hearing. Maybe it's just me. I hope so. But what concerns me is how you are being "dependent" on this female friend b/c she makes you feel happier. That can be an ego food trap. I know b/c I fell into that trap myself. It's called an EA.
Why can't people just go out to dinner or a movie or something? Why do they have to immediately start talking about a R? You haven't even got through one week of not grieving over your M, so you do not need to consider any other R.......just think about being out there dating more than one person. That is still legal, isn't it?
I have seen many D people go straight from their D spouse to one other serious R without even seeing different people. That screams "rebound" all over it. Please do not allow this to happen in your situation b/c you will find yourself in a very unhappy mess. Tell the woman you want to be friends and go out together but that you can't think about just seeing one person or getting serious for a long, long time. If she is what she ought to be, then that won't run her off.....and she'll appreciate you for saying that. But, if she's just looking for any man to be a H, then yeah, she probably won't wait around long. But is that what you really want in a woman? I know both of us are talking "what if", and that IMHO.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
