During a nightly call to D13 I explained that I would be taking the computer and the TV soon. She assumed I meant before I picked up all of my stuff. W overheard, got on the phone (we're in a mutual NC for another week) and got defensive about my taking their only working computer and the big-screen TV. She said something about having to baby-sit the rest of my stuff. I calmly reassured her that D misunderstood but she continued with the defensive attitude. After she understood and got off the phone I got a bit angry.
I wasn't the one who chose to end things. How is it unfair to keep my stuff there until I'm able to pick it up? Like it's MY intrusion on her space.
My temptation is to tell her this, that it's unfair to turn me into the bad guy over this and to jump down my throat. She's the one who's making this choice. I'm at the mercy of her decisions, not the other way around. I'll take responsibility for how I contributed but won't be a whipping boy. She should be patient with my situation as I have little choice in it. Even if that weren't the case I don't have the truck or money to drive up and pick it all up whenever I feel like it. And I also want to explain that I don't want our future R to be antagonistic, that if she wants to treat me that way, fine--I'm trying hard to rise above that and won't be drawn into it any more.
She also did this aloud in front of both Ds, casting me as the interloper that is ruining her new life just by having my stuff in what was once MY APARTMENT TOO. Not cool.
It's a NC period and I don't want to violate that but she did over a misunderstanding.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
