Apparently I told my friend that I'm afraid that I'll miss some sort of opportunity (she's on the phone with me)...it is just a feeling, not logical.
Perhaps, I might get more information, more understanding, more connection if I'm here for him now.
I wondered if it wasn't something like that. You might sit with that emotion for awhile and give yourself permission to not feel that obligation......
Forgive me if I'm out of line, but it sounds like you are weighing your need for some space against his need to keep the emotional hose hooked up to you (I'm trying not to interpret his motives here, but it just kinda sounds like, ".....ping ..... you still there, AK? .... ping .... just checking ..... ping......I made myself a little vulnerable; are you still there .... ping ....") In any event, it sounds like for some reason your heart inclines toward letting his needs trump your needs. Why?
Hell, if you are in a place where you have the emotional fortitude to continue the conversation, go for it. But you sounded a bit fraught earlier, and still kinda do ... so make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, not just because you are responding to a fear that you're going to miss the golden ticket moment if you're not "perfect".
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
