I really didn't have many friends and socializing was always with his friends. I had pretty much given up control of my life and didn't have much direction. I realized that in the couple months before he left though. I was also going through depression and very unhappy with turning 40.
Positive things now, I've made more friends, gotten better at socializing and being happy with myself, keeping myself busy and hearing my own voice... my likes and dislikes. I felt like I had lost my "voice". I know I must be exuding more confidence and happiness. I feel it! I know I want these changes to become permanent. He may not notice it, but the reward is to myself.
Hi I'm newly checking out your thread, but I totally relate to losing your "voice", feeling depressed over turning 40, etc. I too am working on feeling better being with myself, being in touch with myself, and with knowing what I want and don't want.
I think the little contact you have had lately sounds positive. I know with my H, when we were first breaking the silence, any minute he stayed in the room with me in it was a positive sign. Keep at it - check out where you guys are in a month - I'll bet you'll be a lot closer.
We were there too - but now we actually sit and talk, watch tv, hang out with S5 together - it takes a looooong time. Keep it up.
