What can I say? Your story really touched me and I am blessed that you shared it with me. It was extremely personal and for that I am grateful for your trust and love that you would share it with me.
I really do believe my W is in the fog of the fantasy. Absolutely. I think she feels that she still wants to sow her oats before it's too late and it's a floodgate that the OM helped her to open. I can't believe that even now she denies it was an A. I think she has that sex definition to explain an A.
I actually did mention to her about getting a check-up for her hormones, but of course that was shot down. But at least I said it. The more I look at her, the more I see the person who is so not the woman I married.
I did get caught in the way the sitch was getting better. I was just surprised at how badly it would affect me. I'm making a point of trying not to let that happen again.
My W has never been an avid reader or inquisitive enough to ask if there was anything that could be making her feel what she feels. All she knows is that she's unhappy and it's because of me. In my readings of MLC, I read that those with poor coping mechanisms have a poor chance at salvaging their R because they are unable, incapable or just don't want to deal with the cause of the problem. And my W is the worst. She actually has a strong fight or flight impulse. Never sitting down and talking things out.
Deep down inside, I know she believes that the feelings will come back. She's even told me that she doesn't want the feelings to come back. Pretty evil sounding, but it is what it is. She wants to live her life, fooling around and doing things "independently". She's always had the freedom to do that, but never took the initiative. And lately she seems to need to have someone to blame for her unhappiness. She appears perfectly happy with others, just not with me.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
