Oh sweetie......it is times like this that I wished I did not care as much for you and could clobber you up beside the head. You know, like I do CIPA?
The truth is that I may sound like I'm trying to be funny, but I am sitting here bawling as if my own son had told me that his W wanted to leave him. I can't believe she doesn't love you! She may have herself convinced right now, but I am not convinced by a long shot!
You know what you would say to another man who wrote the same words that you have written. However, I won't be quite that rough on you! It broke my heart to picture you in so much pain that you were having a panic attack. I want to shake some sense into that girl and tell her how blessed she is to have a man who loves her that much. Stuck, I am going to share something with you that I wasn't going to tell anybody, but for some reason I feel impressed to tell you what happened to me today. The OM I had an EA with called me at my workplace. Right out of the blue.....he called after all this time without me making contact with him. I couldn't say much b/c of others sitting near by and I sure didn't want them to know anything of my past actions. I was so startled that I could hardly say a word after he told me who it was. Imagine, I didn't even recognize his voice! So, I said a few words and hung up. When I got home, I emailed him to tell him that I "still" loved my H and there was no future between he (OM) and I. I debated if I should or not, but I can't have him calling my place of work. Anyway, I suppose the reason I decided to tell you this is b/c of something I told the OM. I told him that I loved my H and that the person he (OM) knew was not who I really am. I told him that I lost myself for a while but I was back on track. Then I told him goodbye. You see, sweetie, I think your W is "lost" and I am not trying to give you a bunch of BS here.....b/c it happened to me, Stuck....and I really was the very last person on earth I would every suspected of doing what I did. I thought back to that time and still can't believe it. At that time, I thought there was no way I could ever love my H again. But, I did, Stuck. I did. It is true that the feelings can return for a woman. I know that it is your W that I should be talking to instead of you, but ......
I hope you believe what I am trying so hard to get you to see. Please stop doing what you are doing to yourself......and to your M by trying to make her feel love for you. I don't think she's in the right frame of mind to do that. I could talk for a long time regarding the issue, but I've already told you all of this in the past. I believe part of it has to do with her fantasy with OM and "what might have been". I believe part of it has to do with her hormones.....(and I know you don't want to hear that, but I still think it does b/c of how my own affected me).
I feel that this is something that only time, God, and your W is going to have to work out together. You've done all that you can......except for one thing. Ater that, the rest is up to you, but we both know what it is you must do.
You may think that there is no use to continue coming here to the board, but I for one would be very sad to see that happen. Please don't forsake us and let us know how you are doing. You know, you told people right about DBing! Just b/c your W has not woke up yet, doesn't mean you didn't do what was right.
I pray for you, sweetie, and if I thought this was good-bye, I would cry for a month......so please let me hear from you again.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
