I can't tell you how much these words mean to me. I know forums can often be faceless and they are easy to drift in and out of, but your words were worth the time you spent sending them. I appreciate it.
I know that I can be the person that I portray to everyone around me. It sickens me to think of people finding out that my wife and I are divorcing because I looked at porn and personals sites. I feel terrible; but I also want to stop it and I haven't in over a month and really don't miss it at all...of course a M crisis has a way of keeping your focus on what is right in front of you.
Today we told the kids that we are divorcing. Today she listed the house for sale. We've only been there 6 months. I was a wreck. I apologized to the kids and said I was sorry. I said that Momy and Daddy loved them very much and we tried very hard to make our marriage work, but that Dad made some mistakes. mom was quick to add that she did too. She was pretty cold and business like. She has one night left with the kids and then tomorrow I go home to be with them. I can't wait. I feel like I am in a fog and I just want to get through with it, but I am continuing to treat my wife with respect and honor. We have an appointment with a divorce mediator on Monday and we will begin the paperwork of divorce; we are both very focused on doing this amicably and splitting custody evenly. We're both good parents.
I hope that the 4 months we have between filing and the final decision gives us time to heal and re-evaluate everything. I know eitherway, I can make it...but I do love my wife and I want our family to continue on. hearing others stories really helps. I know that it is really against the odds right now, but I will keep focused on today and what I can control.
Sandi2, thank you so much. you put a damper on an otherwise terrible day.
