Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

Sandi,

I had originally posted this under my other thread in Newcomers "Hey Gucci,(et al)":

One thing I want to clear about the "nice guy". Seems like I've been talking about this on different threads lately, but being a nice guy is not what I'm referring to as the opposite of being a cad. In other words, so many LBH's say that they can't allow their WAW to suffer the consequenses of her actions b/c he is a "nice guy". So, she continues to walk all over him! She doesn't want a nice guy....she wants a man who will stand up to her and call her on her BS. She wants a man who will not put up with her acting like a b*tch. If a H puts up with her b/c he's a "nice guy"....then she will wipe her feet all over him and she will not respect him.

Sandi,

Your post above got me thinking that I should clarify what I said previously about the "nice guy" approach. Anyone following my sitch can see that I was probably a little too much of an "understanding" type of nice guy with my W for far too long before I put my boot down. What I'm largely doing now is being reserved, neutral, firm and polite to my W in the few interactions we are having at the moment. In other words, what I am NOT doing is being rude, hostile or demonstrating any kind of "attitude" towards my W. So from that standpoint- and given the history of what has transpired in my sitch- I still consider myself to some degree as being a "nice guy", but just one who isn't taking any $h*t from my W anymore.