Had to scroll through a lot of pages. Glad to hear you feel better today. As much as you've fixed, and you've fixed a lot, you are not going to fix it all by yourself. Walk the tightrope 2 more weeks. I have confidence. But you have to actually go there and do it.
We just received the confirmation letter from Retrouvaille for next weekend.
At the bottom of the letter, in bold, underlined text it says:
"...the weekend is not a two-day miracle cure; the attitude you bring with you to the weekend is of the utmost importance. You must come prepared to work and work hard.
This is not a relaxing weekend nor is it a passive weekend. We will not force you together or push you, for we respect you maturity and your freedom, but you must have a desire to make your marriage work."
Over the past week, this is where Mrs. Thinker focused - the last phrase:
"...you must have a desire to make your marriage work."
"But I don't, she says", "Not really". "It would be just trying to force something that just isn't meant to be"
She is, however, still helping me make arrangements for the weekend - childcare, etc.
Last edited by Thinker; 09/30/0906:10 PM.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Actions speak louder than words. Your wife is still attending the weekend and actively helping to facilitate that. Motivation somtimes follows action. She will start working during the weekend and her motives can change. (Actually she alreay has started to work and does not realize it and how many people complain while they are at work.) Pray that God gives her a nudge in the right direction. Keep in mind all she is saying to you is that she is not quite ready to work or doesn't know how to get to work. After the weekend she will have no excuses.
I'm envious of you. My wife has no desire to go to retro or work on the marriage or at least has not expressed a desire. At least you are at a point where you will at the very least be clear about what you need to do next. Don't tie your self up with all this fear and worry put it down your marriage is at stake! Get ready to roll up your sleeves and get to work. If you are a praying man find a St Joseph Novena and start today!. He is the patron saint of Retro!
"Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence." Pope John Paul II
"Pray, hope and don't worry! Padre Pio"
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
Mrs. Thinker and I had to go to a wake for an acquaintance tonight - a relative of a friend had passed away.
As we left, we both commented on how fun and lively the atmosphere had been when compared to post death visitations we had been to in the past. She joked, "Can I throw a party with our friends at your party? You can throw one for mine." to which I replied "sure, get a keg. If you die first should I serve wine or champagne?" Definitely champagne, she replied".
Wait!
Stop!!
Rewind!!!
Did she just make an unintentional plan to spend the rest of our lives together?
...
oops
...
With 8 days to Retro, the atmosphere is light and friendly.
Still no babysitter though...
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
We'll work it out. We have one very competent reliable sitter locked in for Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday. We are missing Saturday early AM through Saturday evening still.
The good news is that my W is worried about it and is actively working her network and placing calls to come up with alternatives. If she didn't want to go she would be using the difficulty finding childcare as an excuse to talk about backing out.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
