My main point was that validate is not agree. You are not responsible for how that's interpreted by your spouse.
Absolutely correct - I agree 100% with this.
LW, I'm sorry you are in a sitch where no matter what you say, when you say it, or how you say it, it will be used against you in some way. Hang in there LW and keep making the effort to talk with your kids on a regular basis.
