Who is this person?

[Day by Day]

Stronger, one of the books you recommended arrived today, Getting Through to the Man You Love. I started reading it. Thank you for the recommendation.

Journaling:
I haven't asked H to go to Retro with me yet. I'm writing my email to him and going to send it tomorrow. I don't want to be too pushy and have him run away further. I want to mention more on his visit yesterday.

He told me of how he will be meeting some VIPs at work and will have to go out of town for the meeting. Whenever he tries to make small talk with me, it seems like he's trying to impress me with his work accomplishments. So, today I updated him on S who has flu and told him I wished him a safe trip and good luck and that it was nice to see him yesterday. H repeated what a good opportunity it was for him and bragged a little. It's like he wants praise from me. I gave it to him and he thanked me. Just saying the same I'd tell a friend. But no R talk from me.

I know I acted self-confident, strong and happy when he saw me last night. I just know he was surprised at my cool composure. I was proud of myself! I had just come from my co-dependency class and was feeling lifted up. I'm seeing him as a coward running away from his conflicting feelings. And he looks tired and awful with bags under his eyes. I feel sorry for him. I think I've let go of my anger.

I feel confident about my own life, but not about dealing with him because I can't understand this MLC spirit that's taken over him. I really don't like how our kids can't stand him and don't want to be around him. This is not of my doing and I'm trying to have them be understanding of him. I also don't think it helps that they reject him. In the past he mentioned that he had nothing more to lose if his kids hate him. Makes me so sad to see our family destroyed like this. I'm over the anger, just sad. So hopefully like my IC said, he'll move closer when he sees I am not angry.

Day by Day