I wish I could just hit the pause button and regroup.
Methinks that's what we are trying to tell you. - take care of yourself: emotionally , physically, spirtually and intellectually - respond when you are clear-headed, rested, well-fed, and have a vision on where you want to go.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
