I wish I could just hit the pause button and regroup.
Methinks that's what we are trying to tell you. - take care of yourself: emotionally , physically, spirtually and intellectually - respond when you are clear-headed, rested, well-fed, and have a vision on where you want to go.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
.... random thought, not run through the logic meter ....
Every time you state a definite opinion, goal, emotion, boundary, whatnot .... you have thrown down and given him something to respond to. So then he gets to react to you, he doesn't have to confront himself.
If there is any merit to that thought at all, it might be good to let him stew in his own juices and look in his own mirror for a little while.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
AK, if he is sincere and serious, letting him twist in the wind for a bit -- not as a "ploy", but for YOU to attain some mental/emotional peace and balance -- will not alter his desire to talk with you in a loving way. You're torturing yourself like someone trying to tread the perfect path through the minefield. Ain't no such thing. Breathe. You don't control the universe. Breathe. Hugs.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
this doesn't seem any different than his old "Look at me, pay attention to me!" tactic. Tell him no. You are not here to hold his hand and comfort him while he wrecks your family. No. He wants you to say it is alright. He can do her and come back home and have nicey nicey family time. All him, all the time. Tell him no.
True, true, true and thanks for being here. It helps.
Still, Lotus, I don't know what he wants or is thinking. When he came back last time the progression was similar in many ways. However, I don't want a next time...I'm just worn out.
