For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[LuLu]

Court- You and I are in similar sitch's and sounds like have similar personalities. The only difference is I have a 2 & 3 year old, am a SAHM and have been separated for 3+ months. The crazy thing is I have been doing the same thing as you and have been so inconsistent and well, emotional!! I play it cool for awhile and then lose it, haha. I can't stress enough doing the 180 and you must GAL. I also have my girls 95% of the time and they spend every night with me. There is/was OW, things are over between them but I think his feelings are still there. Major fog. Pathetic.

Back to the subject of Gal'ing, if I can do it, you can too. I have been having H come over to stay with the girls so I can go out at night. My biggest life saver has been meetup.com. Check it out and sign up for a few groups. Instant social life. I have a bunch of close friends but they are all married with kids. Sometimes it's hard to get together with them. Sometimes I'd prefer not to go out with them, as bad as that sounds. Meetup.com, check it out.

Please take these wonderful people's advice. I'm a major lurker and have been reading these boards a lot. You can do it!!

Make yourself read and re-read that 180 list daily or at least the days you have contact with H. DO NOT BRING UP THE RELATIONSHIP ever.

By the way, I tried NC and it was nearly impossible and kind of frustrating with small kids. Didn't work for me. My main things now are: I don't volunteer information about the girls or our plans (Be mysterious), I'm not as available for him and I do not initiate contact. I was finding myself calling him or emailing him for random things-kids related or house related- that honestly, really could have waited until I saw him next. He's noticing...

Anyway, keep your head up. As far as contact with him, the goal isn't to piss him off, it's just that he's not #1 priority anymore. You will get to him when you have time but you will not be pissy or cold, just busy or perhaps indifferent. Think of him as an acquaintance (sp?)not an enemy.