Good for you getting out! Not the easiest thing I know. Last year when I reconnected with a guy I used to like, I thought right then I was ready to be with someone! But looking back, I can see I was still a bit of a mess. I am getting to know me better and I have become a bit more like I used to be before I got married. Biggest difference is now I have kids in tow! LOL
I certainly don't want to scare the poor devil that decides to date me with coming on full force. Nice and steady wins the race afterall.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
certainly don't want to scare the poor devil that decides to date me with coming on full force
Think that might have been part of the problem. The guy I saw came on strong, very fast. I'm ashamed to say I liked the attention and reciprocated. That's when he started to back off For whatever reason I can't let it go now. I wish I could cos having him in my head all the time is driving me crazy and even more so since I found out he is now seeing someone on a regular basis.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Hi ACJ! I know how lonely things can get after a marriage breakup. Learnt that first time around for me.
The NG certainly is a diversion. Not too long ago, you were still saying you love your STBX. Remember how you burst out crying for now reason and you realised you still had feelings for your H (I think you always will to a certain extent --- father of your children, etc.). It's possible that the OW's pregnancy shocked you into realizing that there is no hope of reconciliation (not even the tiniest). Now, I know you've been alone for a long time, but not alone without being 'in love' and yearning after someone.
Just a thought.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
As for the dose of reality. It may well be that BUT for me this has now gone past the point of no return. An affair I could forgive but a baby with another woman is just one ask too many.
Yes, it seems so. You posted this just after finding out about the pregnancy.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
BM you are right I was still 'professing' love not so long ago for my STBXH. However, in retrospect it was b/c he is the father of my kids etc. I just hadn't realised it at the time. NG was a diversion, a very nice diversion, and the experience in itself has taught me a lot. One of those things is that I am now open to finding a new love. It doesn't have to happen immediately. I wasn' t looking for this dalliance, even when it happened I didn't see it happening until he kissed me. That's how relaxed I was about the whole evening. The point is I was open to it (which shocked even me) and so that's how I've learnt that maybe I am ready to let someone else into my life.
Life is getting very interesting here. S17 came round on Tuesday evening to tell me he wants to drop out of college and he is not enjoying it at all. He talked about getting a job for a year and then hopefully getting an apprenticeship as an alternative route to uni next Sept. He told me STBXH had told him that if he left full time education and got a job S17 would have to pay him £350/month in board as that is how much money he is currently getting from me and state benefits for S17. He has just put an offer in on a house and told S17 that without that money he can't afford to buy it. I told S17 that this equates to over half of Hs rent at the moment and also told him OW is not intending going back to work when the baby is born. S17 now feels like H is expecting him to help pay for the baby which as you can imagine hasn't gone down very well. I'm just sitting and watching the drama unfold as H starts to show his true colours at long last. I have told S17 however that he can't just drop out of college he has to have an alternative to go to. He has taken this onboard and has an interview this morning with a college who specialise in a particular industry.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I just wanted to say that I also needed to "practise dating" and have been at it for almost a year - LOL! And I still have not found "Mr. Perfect". I can assure you that the more guys you meet the more relaxed you get. Good luck.
Your social network group sounds really super unlike mine.
Regarding your S17 I hope he will do the right thing and find something he would like to do.
Take care and I hope you will have a lovely week-end.
Regarding your S17 I hope he will do the right thing and find something he would like to do.
He had an interview at a specialist college this morning. He starts tomorrow! Providing he knuckles down and likes the course it will enable him to go to uni to study civil engineering which is what he originally wanted to do but via the A level route couldn't b/c he dropped physics.
So proud of him. Just waiting to see what H will WRT his move. Although in the grand scheme of things it's not far, it is further away from the kids friends, school, college etc. It's also a damn sight more expensive. OWs hand is definatley inon this. Think S17 will come home if H insists on moving there. Place your prayers in the right place please.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Just caught up with your post,,, very interesting.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
For whatever reason I can't let it go now. I wish I could cos having him in my head all the time is driving me crazy and even more so since I found out he is now seeing someone on a regular basis.