peace, forward, oc - I've turned a corner and have fully reached acceptance. It's been a very liberating experience. It's like I've started to dream again. The dreams I had while I was with my H will never be and I've let go of them. Time to build a new life.
I have had momentary lapses of longing for H, but I know it's the idea of H, who he was, and who I always thought he had the potential to be that I long for. That H doesn't exist in reality anymore. He's a mess and a coward. On top of that, I've found out that he's been seeing (not dating) his M'ed psychopathic ex-gf from 15+ years ago. After their break-up, he never had a kind word to say about her, and now he's friends with her again. I don't get it.
Also found out more reasons why he broke up with ogre. He couldn't stand her behavior. From what I knew of her, I could not understand why H would want to be with her, knowing how he felt about girls that act like her. There's some comfort in knowing that it finally caught up and H just couldn't take it anymore - even if it did take 3 years for him to see it. Their R was a tumultuous one, with terrible fights which included her getting physical with him. (I knew I had seen scratch marks on his arms before.) He even told friend that she brought out the worst in him. I couldn't agree more.
Could use some opinions:
I'm really ready to move forward with D. H went out of town but will be back tomorrow and claims to be busy for rest of week. I'd like to have the discussion about the D that he suggested almost a month ago, but am growing very impatient waiting for him to set a date.
Do I need to have the discussion? I was thinking of emailing him to tell him that if he can't set a date by next week, I will be willing to discuss it over the phone - and if that isn't possible, then we can settle the terms through email. Is that fair?
While I'm done trying to DB my M, I still want to handle the D in the best way possible. I'm tired of this dragging on. I'm ready to get this over with.
