I hear you guys. Maybe I should think about it some more...
The place I am coming from has been, there are two approaches here. If I am still trying to make him 'come to his senses', then I need to enforce all my boundaries/consequences, draw the lines, tough love, etc etc.
I guess you would call that db'ing?
On the other hand, I am tired of always strategizing to figure out what I can do to 'bring him back'. So I figured, if we are getting a divorce, so be it. That is why I was so calm and steady when writing up our 'terms' when we met the other night. Because I am ready to move forward, finally.
But if we are in fact getting a divorce, I guess I was thinking that if we can have a 'friend-y' relationship when it comes to the kids, that is all the better for them. I wasn't thinking about it in terms of sending them confusing messages.
I just do not want to be those former couples I see as a teacher. The ones who can't come to conferences at the same time b/c they can't be in the same room with each other. The ones who are so concerned about being 'fair' that they literally have their child ping-pong between houses every other night. And yes, I have had kids who actually do that.
So maybe I am off on a ramble here. I am just done withoverthinking things. The past several days I have decided to do what I want to do, the way I want to do it. I wanted to write up our settlement and get it taken care of, so I did. I wanted to go to the movies, so I did.
