Hi etrain, sorry to hear what you are going through, but you've found the right place for support. There are unfortunately many others that have heard the same as you have from their spouse, I'm included amongst them.
I'm new here too, but I'll tell you to get the DR or DB book and read it. Read the forums. You'll get great support here and be able to share your experience and get understanding here (that sometimes friends can't give you).
Keep posting! Day by Day
M40, H39 M17 T20 D13, S12 H moved out 05/09 D filed 1/10