Trying to save my M. W not really trying though.

[etrain]

Hello. I'm brand new to this forum but I have been reading it for a couple weeks. I'll try to keep this intro as short as possible.
My W and I have been toegteher for over 12 years...married for almost 9 & we have a 4 year old son. Over Labor Day weekend, my W told me she doesn't love me "that way" anymore and doesn't feel connected to me. She was an eyelash away from asking for a D. I was crushed.

I convinced her to at least try MC to see if things change. Well, we've only had 1 MC session (our 2nd is today) but I'm not very optimistic. My W has gone as far as saying she's not sure she EVER loved me...and that she doesn't have much hope of MC working.

At times, I feel like she can't stand me. I've never done anything to hurt her...no affairs, no abuse, no going out all night drinking with the guys, always had a steady job, wonderful father to our 4 year old son. It's all very confusing and heartwrenching at the same time.

There's a lot more to our story, including an attempt at MC earlier this year that only yielded short-term results...and the possibility that my W is having an EA. I found an incriminating email but she claims it was the first "flirty" email exchange they've had...and the last.

I guess my question is...can a M be saved if I'm the only one trying to make it work? My W isn't giving any effort & seems to already have her mind made up.
Right now, I feel like my life in completely in my W's hands. I sit back & wait for her to decide if we're going to D. It's a horrible feeling. I'm thinking about ordering DB or DR but I'm afraid it might be too late.
I'd appreciate any thoughts or advice you can give...and I'll try to fill in more of the details when I have time.
Thanks for reading.