Hi JR, You sound really good - and it sounds like you're seeing a lot of small positive steps...still, I would think that patience is really important right now - perhaps even more than it's been up until now - despite how hard that might be to believe. I think that bringing things up - like the chance to see your boys when you're nearby - is a good idea - but I wouldn't start talking about R/M.
While there have been positive signs - you still can't read your W's mind -and so you still have to focus more on you - which, I think, would continue to allow her the space she needs to process what she needs to process - and to see the changes that you've made. I can completely understand why your friends would want you to kick up contact - but I would be reluctant to do that. Contact is good - but increasing it could seem like clinging - or like pressure - and its exactly the type of thing that could push her away rather than bring her near.
Had she said anything more about the computers?
Keep doing what's worked...especially what has worked for you - as a positive sense of self sends a strong signal out to others. By now, from all of your actions, I have no doubt that your W knows how you feel - that you love her, and that you want to work on your M. That said, if R/M talk should happen (which I really don't think you should get into yet) you could just let her know that you respect her decisions, that you love her and would like to work your marriage, but know that if things have gotten so bad that they can't be repaired that you understand and want what is best for her...In other words - be sure that before you have the R/M talk, you're comfortable with the possibility of losing her - it's a mindset - your actions and efforts can still be to work on the marriage - but know that you would be okay and she would be okay without your M...then I think you can talk about R/M without clinging in a way that would push her away.
I hope that makes sense...I feel like I'm rambling a bit...still thrown off a bit by surgery, etc...
BTW - have you been rereading the Divorce Remedy? There's a lot of good info there about what to do now.
