Then he stuttered and stammered and said that actually he was kind of wanting me to come too, but if I had other plans, that was okay, he just kind of thought it would be good if I came...
BobbiJo,
I am rather curious to know why you joined Dan and the kids for the movie. To me it just seems like more of the same type behavior with a little divorce activity sprinkled in. As you were recounting things I thought for sure you would pass on attending the movie.
Something just does not seem right with this. On one hand I can see that you were giving thought to doing this "for the sake of the family". But I do not think that is the way that Dan was looking at it. It almost seems like he was just testing you to see how tightly wrapped around his finger he may still have you.
If you are trying to untangle and untether your life from his rotten life by means of a divorce and in doing so hopefully cause Dan to "hit bottom" more quickly, then going and doing the movie thing doesn't make much sense to me.
I do not mean to be making such a big deal about this one episode but the other part that I sense is that there seems to be continued enabling type behavior on your part. What I mean by this is that I believe (and I surely could be wrong)that Dan is nowhere near being comfy with the idea of taking his two young kids out anywhere by himself. Actually this doesn't even seem to be limited to just taking them out places. I seem to recall that he almost always has his mom and his dad play a huge part in handling stuff with the kids whenever it is "his time" with the kids. He has shown zero responsibility to do this type of activity on his own.
Dan going out to the movies with just himself and the kids is something that he needs to be faced with IMO. I do not think he stands a chance of experiencing growth in his life unless he is challenged with things which fall slightly outside of his normal comfort zone.
OK ..enough chatter from me.
I hope that you will be enormously blessed in unthinkable ways dear BBJ.
Ted
I agree 100%...it is more of the same. Things will continue to be as they are until Dan is told that this type activity will no longer take place..
