Hey BBJ, I also agree with the other folks regarding the enabling behaviour. Yes, it is very difficult to refuse invitations. I am not sure any of our actions will matter in the long run. I wonder however what is going on in your little ones' heads with all this together time. I have to admit that when I read your family activities and that of K, I get a little uneasy feeling. Your (you and K's) words say one thing but your actions say something else. I am not sure your respective stbx's feel the urgency of the situation. I was joking with K, saying that she saw her STBX more than some married couples this past weekend. But anyway, I am no different than anyone else here. I would probably have accepted the invitations as well. That is no longer true however....I guess it takes time....but it also takes a little effort. The children's "alibi" is also understandable but can be debated. What I am saying is that in order to properly detach (if that is really your goal) you have to make an effort. I am sure if Dan calls tonight and says he is hungry, you will make an extra plate of spaghetti...or in K's case lamb.....is there anything wrong with this behaviour? I don't know.... the signals you are sending your stbxs is that you are not as "serious" as you let on about divorce. Just my opinion....I could be out in left field.....what I do know is that GAL is as important now as it was when the first bomb landed several years ago.
