How did you see this email? You weren't snooping were you?
Dang! You caught me!
I went to a MNF party and it was really fun. Exh actually made his 45 minute visit beforehand as well. I was getting ready to go and he asked what we were doing. I told him. We went and got baby and ice cream and then he asked if I could stop by the store for a minute. He came out with beer along with other things. He also text'd 3 times while I was at party and I ignored them until I got home, by that time he didn't respond...drunk or with gf?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I went to a MNF party and it was really fun. Exh actually made his 45 minute visit beforehand as well. I was getting ready to go and he asked what we were doing. I told him. We went and got baby and ice cream and then he asked if I could stop by the store for a minute. He came out with beer along with other things. He also text'd 3 times while I was at party and I ignored them until I got home, by that time he didn't respond...drunk or with gf?
Better post
What made the party fun...not a word about ex...
Last edited by volleydog; 09/29/0902:00 PM.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Im trying. He still occupies so much of my head. I always feel like I need to be one step ahead with him. Be prepared for the upcoming battle. Taking notes and watching. How do you stop that?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Ok, here is something about the party. As fun as it was I was a bit bummed at the end. I spent my night chasing an 18 month old which was fine and pretty much my normal. 2 of my girlfriends are single now as well and they had guys talking with them left and right. I know I can't compare, but I never have anyone looking to talk with me. People realize baby is mine and not my grandchild and they are a bit put off. I know this and understand that not many men my age want to start all over with a child like I have. Most people my age have older kids. I have no room in my life for dating, but it would be nice for at least one person to act interested in me!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
As the saying goes...Just do it...Don't let yourself get sucked into the battles, you deserve better, you shouldn't be in a relationship where you have to prepare for battles.
It will get easier once you are able to do stuff for yourself. It's tough with a child you have to have contact, but knowing you have a problem with his drinking to buy beer with you, I think that's very disrespectful.
Once again you deserve better, keep telling yourself that till you believe it!!!
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
I think the changes exh wants in me is mostly an excuse. He doesn't want me independent. He wants me completely miserable and willing to take any crumb he throws my way even if it means having gf's and me. He makes comments that I seem happy and that makes him angry. Whatever.
It's not that he wants you miserable...well, not exactly. He's jealous and doesn't want to be miserable and you be happy, then his whole choice of affair was a big mistake. DUH! lol and of course he's angry that you seem happy because he's the one who's miserable!
So, keep being happy. whether you are trying to save your marriage or not.
AND, like VB said, quit talking all about exh! I'm glad you corrected yourself and mentioned the party, but you really need to focus on the positives things. You are very focused on the negatives in your life. This is most likely why no one is showing you attention that you are looking for. I think people can just sense that in a person, just like being confident or not. If the underlying feeling in your being is sadness, and longing, then it's going to show up even if your trying to hide it. But if you've got a joy inside and positivity rings thru you, then people will feel that and be drawn to you.
I really think you need to just "fake it till you make it". Make yourself give a positive each time you give a negative. try to balance it out, until you make yourself not speak any negatives.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I am trying to fake it and its tough. I feel like I am doing everything alone..my home, my kids, my little money, friends, etc. Some days it just gets to me.
I went to my usual bible study group. It was the first meeting of the new semester. They decided to do it on "communication in marriage". I had no idea. Out of the maybe 20 women there I was the only single one. I was fighting tears the entire 2 hours and I wanted to run fast. I sent the leader a nice email after saying I wasn't going to participate and would next semester. She tried to rephrase things once in awhile by saying 'oh you can apply this to anyone in your life' but it really wasn't working.
Today is another new day.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Positive...baby and I go to our little music class today. Thats always fun.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Life goes on and when you don't you will encounter it happening in others' lives. That is why the tears, the regrets etc. Life goes on... believe it or not. Are you going to be present in your life or will you live in the past?
It doesn't hurt so much after awhile - it is just the initial shock that life goes on for others' that gets you.
I'm glad you corrected yourself and mentioned the party, but you really need to focus on the positives things. You are very focused on the negatives in your life. This is most likely why no one is showing you attention that you are looking for. I think people can just sense that in a person, just like being confident or not. If the underlying feeling in your being is sadness, and longing, then it's going to show up even if your trying to hide it. But if you've got a joy inside and positivity rings thru you, then people will feel that and be drawn to you.