This exactly why most affairs don't work out. Sooner or later, it ends for one reason or another. Then, like my XW they realize they've lost everything. I can already see this comming with my XW. The OM is gone and she's surrounded by nothing by yes-friends who are just using her.
Yeah, I KNOW things will get very, very interesting when the day comes with my X. Scarey part is to think of what she will do. She will either have to try and bait me up or move on completely to someone else before current OM can exit stage left as there is no way in the world she can substain herself, no way. And that is where the very last bit of my concern for her sits as this was not thought through at all. Meh, time will tell.
Otherwise, I don't know why, but my PMA today is off the hook. I feel like a million bucks and have no explination for it. Only thing is last night, when I got home, my cousin made a mention that a FedxX package came during the day, but had to be signed for and no-one answered the door since the doorbell doesn't work. Which kinda of pee'd her off as we bought a new one a few weeks ago, but I hadn't installed yet. I guess it all played on the feelings of rejection and selfworth.
I felt worthless and rejected as I did everything at X's request for so many years. No, "I'll get to it later", it was done near immediately or best as possible. So, since that was no longer required of me anymore, I lost interest in household projects since I wasn't good enough for them. So, I guess hopping on this one simple little thing was therapy in disguse.
On a funny note, I was nearly 3/4 of the way home last night, well past the town that I had lived in and X still does. Get to stop light and happen to glance over to my left. There's XW and one of her friends she works with apparentlyon their way home. I'm certain that her friend saw me. X never looked directly at me as far as I could tell but threw her arms in the air several times as if saying "my god can't I just get away from him?!?!". No.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
